After two years...

It's been what? Almost 2 years since my last post. So what happened during those times. Here you go. Still stuck in my desk job (which I'm really trying to continue to love each and every single day, but still dreading - I don't know why, I'm still finding my passion). For now all I think about is to resign, and search for what my passion really is. I don't know what to do really. If someone asks me, how I see myself in 5 years, all I think and respond is to have a stable career and family abroad. But talking about career, I really don't know what exactly it is. Lately, I've been thinking about shifting to another industry. Number one in my list is being a part of a non-profit organization. I suddenly had this urge of helping people, interacting with them and being aware of their situation. I know the financial aspect of it is quite challenging but I think the most important thing is that you love what you do. I also would want to travel and explore the world, well, that's quite impossible for now. So I'm willing to start here in our country. I want to see every nook and cranny of our country, because it is really a beautiful place. I'm not an experienced traveler / backpacker / whatsoever but thinking about that makes me giddy. And also through that, I may be able to get to know more about my kababayans, see how their lives work, and basically experience different culture and that's basically living a purposeful life. Buuuuuuut, the problem is, aside from overthinking, I am not a risk-taker. Yes, I cannot afford to leave my job, and just do whatever I want. But really if you want to do it, as they all say, no one will stop you. There are many ways out there, I just need to think of ways on how to manage them without jeopardizing my office job. I am going to participate in an 8-week program wherein you need to achieve certain goals at the end of it and declare them as 100%. I am still not that ready, but still this will be a very challenging two months. I believe at the end of it, it will all be worth it. I just need to really be clear on what I want. I have so many things going on in my head, and it's really stressing me out. In a week, I will be starting that journey and I really hope that I can balance it. I know God will help me because nothing is impossible through Him. So for now, I'll be thinking of what my goals really are, because as what my commitment statement is, "I am a committed, passionate, and vulnerable woman". So help me God.